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August 25, 2009

She cried (and so did I)

First day of kindergarten landscape

The big day finally arrived!  We took a bunch of photos in our brand new FDOS clothes, grabbed a bite of early lunch then piled into the van for the 1 mile drive to school (we'll eventually walk this together each morning).

When we arrived, the kids were super excited.  Gwen ran all over the place, making friends and greeting teachers while Maddy, as usual, happily followed her sister's lead.  When it was time to line up, Gwen found her spot and Maddy filed in beside her.  I reminded her that she had her own class and they had their own line and that's when Maddy wrapped her arms and legs around me and buried her face in my hip and started to sob.  

The teachers told the kids to wave goodbye to their parents and the classes were starting to file inside.  I looked for Gwen so I could blow her a kiss but she was already in her class room.

But there was no way Maddy was going into hers. 

I picked her up and tried to reassure her but she hugged me tighter and wouldn't let me put her down.  Parents weren't encouraged to go inside the class room but I couldn't get her to let go of me and I wasn't going to pry her off and shove her through the door and run away and just leave her there.  

After all of the other kids were inside, I carried her in and Maddy's teacher saw that she was having some problems saying goodbye to Mommy so she asked her classroom assistant to help me.  Everyone (except Maddy), understood that the best way to deal with this was for me to leave as quickly and unceremoniously as possible so I unwrapped my velcro daughter from me while the other woman worked fast to catch each limb to keep her from latching back on.  Then I quickly kissed her wet cheek, reminded her that I'd be back real soon and hurried away.  The sound of her frantic screams overwhelmed my senses and made my heart ache.  This is the little girl who didn't cry on Gotcha Day.  I knew she knew I'd be back in a few hours but it still broke my heart to have to leave her like that. 

Today was the first day of Kindergarten and the 3rd anniversary of Maddy's adoption.  We've come so far and I'm so proud of my brave little girl!

When school let out, I met the kids outside their classroom.  In spite of the rocky start, it looks like Maddy had a fun first day.  Here she is:

kindergarten pickup 010

And here comes Gwen:

kindergarten pickup 007

Crossing our fingers for a good 2nd day! 


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