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February 06, 2010

Oh boy! Ketchup! (are you a dipper or a squeezer?)

Heinz new ketchup package When it's not raining, we spend at least an hour each morning (before Kindergarten) at a park where the girls can work off some of their excess energy while I muster the strength to stare glassy eyed at them and wonder how the hell they do it.

When it rains, we can't go outside so the walls of our house have to contain all of that insane physical energy.  Even if the plaster and drywall could hold up to it, I'm here to tell you that my nerves can't.

We're always looking for something fun to do on rainy days and there aren't many options but one we've come to rely on is the Burger King right down the street.  It has a big two story indoor play structure and the kids can happily play for hours while I chat with other moms or read the newspaper or listen to the Armstrong & Getty podcast on my iPhone (and try not to let anyone see me laughing aloud like a crazy woman because those guys are hysterically funny.  But that's another post).

On these inclement days, lunch always consists of Orange Juice and Chicken Nuggets but the girls probably love the ketchup the best.  Trust me, there is a lot of ketchup going on!  I spend at least five minutes kneading those little packets then ripping open the corner and squeezing out the pathetic little teaspoon sized glob of nectar onto the paper place mat while the kids stand by and drool and tell me to hurry up. 

They use at least 20 packets -- more if we have french fries (and we usually don't) -- and as I squeeze each one, I wish someone at the big Heinz Ketchup factory would finally figure it out:  We are a society of DIPPERS who want nothing more than to have our favorite tomato based condiment delivered to us in a package that is ready to accept whatever we want to dip into it!  Yes, I obviously have very simple needs. 

What?  You don't want to dip your cheeseburger?  No problem.  Just tear off the tip and squeeze away!

Ah, life is good.

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