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March 21, 2007

I almost didn't mention this

Banana1I wasn't going to blog about this but, in retrospect, it is sorta funny (and Gwen is NOT sick).  So here goes:

M3 called this morning and asked if we were heading to the mall for our usual romp in the germ-pit.  Even without the added enticement of a play date, we'd never miss our daily chance to partake of dried baby body fluids and share some fresh ones of our own.  And, of course, the play date just gave it so much more meaning!  Especially since Mommy hardly ever gets to talk to an adult during these recurring adventures (Mall Moms are snobs).

So, we rendezvoused with Mama Salsa about 10:15 and Maddy quickly settled into her self imposed role as Westgate Mall Toddler Play Yard Ambassador by welcoming the twins and trying to explain that they needed to take off their shoes, not leave the play area, etc.  Meanwhile, Gwen took advantage of the fact that I was being distracted by M3 to race to our stroller, retrieve a banana we'd just purchased, peel it nekkid, and shove the top 5 inches of the freshly exposed fruit into her greedy mouth. 

I was only about 5 seconds behind her and caught up in time to ask her if she was okay and offer my hand as her personal spitoon.  She nodded and grunted "I'm otay" and scurried off after a little girl who was stretching the neck opening of her angrily protesting little brother's shirt by dragging him around by it.  it's understandable why Gwen would surely want to participate in THAT fun!   

I settled onto the bench seat and glanced around for M3 and the babies but didn't find them before Gwen reappeared with a very disturbed look on her face and some banana colored spittle dripping down the front of her shirt.   Like any good mother, I stuck my bare hand under her chin and asked her if she wanted to spit out the banana.  She did and my hand quickly filled up to near overflowing with something the consistency of rice pudding.  But before I could properly dispose of my gooey gift, she heaved and VOMITED a half gallon of banana/Pediasure/Golden Grahams/godknowswhatelse right onto our feet and the floor between us.

Almost immediately, a crowd of toddlers gathered and some well meaning parents offered napkins while I stared at the mess -- and Gwen -- and my hand filled with goo -- and tried to decide what I needed to fix first.  I decided to empty my hand since it seemed like a no-brainer that two hands might come in handy for the rest of the tasks ahead.  So I told Gwen not to touch anything and leaped over the bench seats and ran to the trash can about 15 feet away.  Then I returned as fast as humanly possible and jumped back over the seats to find Gwen kneeling in the vomit trying to mop it up with the paper napkins the adults provided. 

Luckily, I carry a full box of tissues and a full container of Huggies baby wipes in the stroller (and antibacterial wipes in the diaper bag) so I got everything cleaned up but nobody was in the mood for a play date after that.  Gee, I can't imagine why!

And that's how our first mall play date with M3 went! 

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