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July 28, 2006

July 28th

This date seems to be all about my babies. 

July 28th 2003: A joyful day! I was 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant (but didn't know it yet).  It was our first pregnancy together.  We were heading to Las Vegas with Michael and two of his friends for a fun family vacation.  On the last day of our trip, I took a pregnancy test and about fainted when the 2nd pink line appeared.  It was our 8th (and final) IUI and we were shocked that it finally worked but thrilled!  But the excitement wouldn't last as long as the eventual grief.  If we'd known, we would have tried to brace for it.   .

July 28th 2004: A joyful day!  I was 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant with our 3rd pregnancy.  It was our 2nd (and final) IVF.  I braced for another "bad" ultrasound but this is the date that we finally saw our baby for the first time -- heart beating!  five weeks later, there was no heartbeat.  But our grief was nothing compared to that of Gwen's birth family on this very same day in China.... .

China_982005_071smaller July 28th 2004:  This is the date that Gwen's birth mother kissed her for the last time.  She was born a month earlier and they kept her until she was strong enough to be left alone for a few hours.  She was left at this beautiful location on July 28th, 2004.  We were celebrating our baby's heartbeat while Gwen's first family was grieving the incredible loss of a child they held in their arms for more than a month.  Our eventual loss pales compared to theirs and we're so grateful for their sacrifice.

Birthmom1 July 28th 2004:  Madeline's mother would be very anxious this day.  She'll give birth in just three days and leave her tiny newborn with a note at the gate of a local school.  .
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001 July 28th 2005:  The most joyful day! This is the date we got Gwen's referral! Yes, on the anniversary of the date she left her first family, our lives were joined forever.

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Bw20060704_sprinkler_091_sm_1 July 28th 2006:  This is the date we kissed our daughter, home 10 months, and whispered to her about all of the sacrifices of the many people who loved her.  She didn't seem to notice but someday she will.    I think about Gwen's birth mom today because, even though it's a happy anniversary for us, it's a very sad one for her.  How hard it must be to not know where her precious little one ended up.  I wish there was som way to reassure her that she's with us and very much loved.
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July 28th 2006:  This is day 65 of our wait for TA for Madeline.  She's in foster care in Guangzhou and doesn't understand the significance this day (this week?) holds for us.  She'll be age 2 on Sunday!  We hope to have her in our arms in less than a month.  If she knew this, she'd be terrified even though we're ecstatic!

July 28th is an amazing date.

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