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October 27, 2004

Baby dreams

I had a dream about the baby last night. I dreamt that she was sitting on the floor next to her "Auntie" from the orphanage and she had a blanket over her head with just one eye shyly peeking out at me. Her Auntie was trying to encourage her to be friendly to me but she obviously thought I was just a curious stranger. When I told her "I'm her mommy", her eyes lit up and she pushed the baby towards me. I picked her up (with the blanket still over her head) and hugged her to me but she remained nervous and rigid. I closed my eyes and smiled. I didn't worry that she was uncomfortable because I knew, in time, she never be able to remember a time when I wasn't her mommy.

I'm usually good at analyzing my dreams and I think the blanket was there because I don't know what my baby looks like. I think the enthusiasm from the Orphanage worker (Auntie) was because I'd read "The Lost Daughters of China" recently and I came away with the feeling that China really is appreciative of us adopting these children. The child's bashful discomfort when I hugged her was probably my mind telling itself that it will take time to bond but it will happen!


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